The End of My Fast, a T-Mobile Phone Search, and More

Turn away all you who are too busy to read about my life. Reader beware~!

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So I ended my fast today. After a week of depriving myself of television shows, leisure browsing, and games, I think I ODed on all three today. I feel so garbage-like. Anywho, I am kind of glad. I don't know if I got the intended effect. I wanted to grow in Christlikeness, but I just came to appreciate my tv shows, games, and leisure browsing. One very depressing thing I found was that I have no friends to call when I'm bored. I am very lazy and I find it hard to keep contact with friends. So I don't because I have Community, The Office, Zombieland, and Left 4 Dead to keep me accompanied when I'm lonely or bored. However, without any of these guys, I was left to fend for myself in the jungle of solitude. I played solitaire with a deck of cards at least 10 times and I got tired of it really fast. I learned three things from this fast:

1. I am completely and utterly depraved; a sinful man is what I am.
2. I need to work harder on my relationships.
3. I need a girlfriend.

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I am also desperately looking for a T-mobile LG Phone. I know I am the only lame human being on this earth that uses T-Mobile, but I hope you can be so kind as to ask your neighbors, fathers, mothers, brothers, wives, husbands, dogs, kind strangers, mean strangers, the village idiot, your racist friend, your crippled friend, your turtle's sons. Anybody really. I just really need a better phone. T-mobile and LG are the only two requirements. In fact, forget LG, just do T-mobile. Please. I implore you to go on this hunt with me.

If you DO find a person with an extra T-mobile phone, do the following: thank him, lecture him on why he should switch to Verizon, and take the phone.

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One night (during the fast, this was a time in my life when I was depraved of a useless, BUT huge, portion of my life, and I was getting depressed as a Christian because I did not feel any holier despite my fast. I did not feel more Christlikeness.), I was laying in bed and wondering what it would feel like to feel something that I am currently incapable of feeling. I was thinking, what does it feel like to be in a state of drunkenness? Would I even be having fun? Would the hangover be worth it? What would it feel like to take LSD? Would the demons consume? Or would I make better more wonderful music? I decided that I was gonna get drunk eventually when I'm off contract. Now that I am here, consuming myself with "media", I don't think I would. I don't really feel the urge to.

But that got me thinking, "what if I DID do drugs and get drunk?" That would officially turn me into one of those "bad people" that I never was. I would not ever be able to be judgmental because I DID those things. Wouldn't that put me in a humbler state? Wouldn't that make me a better Christian?!

I thought of all the people who weren't as self-conscious as me, and COULD do those things without thinking, and just regret it later. I thought, what makes me different from them? I think about these things too much to do it by "accident". So I hypothetically developed the mindsets of [I'm already this bad, why not?] or [God will eventually forgive, if not immediately, in fact that's what I prefer, because it would be too weird if he forgave me too soon.] or [I don't even care.]. I think I was roughly around 45% serious about this.

But God is so good, even when I don't feel like God is working in me. He did not let me get to 50% serious. Also, he provided me with absolutely no access to LSD, crack cocaine, marijuana, beer, ecstasy, or even a cigar (cuz i go big or go home, no little cigarettes for me! but I still didn't have access to this). God is truly providential. If he did not put me in this stupid Christian university, who knows what I could have found in my roommate's desk? or my neighbor's? or my friend's? God works in me like a firework (reference to Katy Perry song, it makes no sense). God damns the wicked. I'm so glad Christ made me right, because i am so very wicked. It's fascinating how many times I forget that the only thing between me and damnation is a man who came and died for me on the Cross 2000 years ago. It's a very thick thin line. No typo there.

If you have read this far, you care for me much more than I deserve. Or you are retardedly bored, in which case, I urge you to go out and find an LG T-mobile phone for me. Thank you for reading what i emote.