i am tired.

I am tired of so many things.
I am tired of being such a big jerk that my friend has to constantly keep me in check.
I am tired of the fact that he's been doing so for about a year.
I am tired of having no hope in the kids I teach in church.
I am tired of my own emotionless face which makes it hard for people to know my true emotions.
I am tired of being a great big joke.
I am tired of being a debbie downer.
I am tired of blogging about depressing things.
I am tired of one of my closest friendships being severely flawed and at the brink of destruction.
I am tired of caring so much about what others think about me.
I am tired of not wanting to go home because my home is a place of great despair.
I am tired of being homesick for heaven.
I am tired of my own stupid personality.
I am tired of coveting the social skills of others.
I am tired of being so exhausted all the time.
I am tired of relying on myself.
I am tired of being stupid.
I am tired of trying to be clever.
I am tired of having no one to talk to.
I am tired of not accepting the help of those who want to talk to me.
I am tired of knowing so much about God but being a pathetically infantile Christian.
I am tired of friends who chill.
I am tired of feeling bad.
I am tired of trying fill the empty void inside with games, movies, and friends.
I am tired of wanting to think that I don't need friends yet relying on friends for comfort.
I am tired of all the drama.
I am tired of seeing little fob kids smoking everywhere.
I am tired of hearing of my sister.
I am tired of hearing about my family.
I am tired of my cousin.
I am tired of CPC.
I am tired of Biola.
I am tired of myself.
I am tired.
I am.
I am tired of thinking in my sin that I don't need or want God.
At the end of the day.
I know.
I only have Him.
I wish I could fastforward 20 years to my death bed and look forward to being in Heaven.
I know I'll regret a lot of things but I'll be happy that I chose to be a Christian.
I am so tired.
God.
How Great Thou Art.