I view myself as one who does not worry too much about my future. I almost prided myself over this ability. However, occassional, random tsunamis of just complete despair and anxiety attack me. I just start worrying about money and school and my future career. This forces me to realize that perhaps I'm not as cool as I thought. I thought I was cool because there are no worries in the world for me because in the end, we all end up in heaven. What is ten dollars here, going to do for me in Heaven? But the older I get, the more of these utter feelings of stress and hopelessness I start to feel.
At this point, I don't feel it for too long at any one time but each wave is pretty difficult to bear. I just lie (lay) in bed or stand in the field or cruise on my bike and just think about all the things I cannot do because of my financial status. I definitely need prayer.
God is good. All the time.
1 comment:
orando para ti hermano!
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