Monday, July 26, 2010

The New Set of Films To Look Forward To

Well...not only films.

In light of Comic Con recently, I decided to post about upcoming films and junk.

So these are a few films and shows that I'm really looking forward to.
  1. Tron Legacy, Thanks to both Joe Chong and the new Tron trailer. I love futuristic night club action.
  2. Sucker Punch, Zack Snyder has done right by me and I trust him by now. Plus, I love attractive young women and guns. I know. I'm disgusting. I AM MAN!!!
  3. The Walking Dead, This one is actually a show... ABOUT ZOMBIES!!! 'nuff said. *edit* No. Not 'nuff said, I just watched the trailer and I have to admit, the trailer is pretty terrible. Let's just hope the show does so much better.
  4. Scott Pilgrim vs. The World, ye, I put up a trailer for this film up a while ago. and yes, I'm into this kind of stuff.
  5. Priest, Some of you may be surprised that I would look forward to this particular Vampire vs. Holymen film, but I ask of you, "is it really that shocking?" I mean, I did mention that I am a sucker for religiously themed junk. Or did I? I don't know. Anywho, if you weren't surprised or shocked, then you should get to know me a bit better. Shame on you.
  6. Red, I love John Malkovich, I love Bruce Willis, I love Helen Mirren and Morgan Freeman (But they don't deserve their own spot, they have to share), and I love assassins. I hate Mary-Louise Parker but this is a sacrifice I'm willing to make.
Things I Am Not Looking Forward To, Though Perhaps I Should Be:

YES, This is an extra treat for those of you have read this far. An extra list. These are things that I think I should look forward to, but for some strange reason, I am not.

1. Let Me In
Why I Should Like It: I loved the original Swedish film, Let the Right One in, and it has my beloved Chloe Moretz in it. Not to mention it was directed by the same guy who directed Cloverfield, which I kind of liked.

Why I Don't: I despise "translated" remakes of great films. "Translated" remakes are films that are remade like right after the original was made. If someone remakes it in like 50 years, I'm pretty sure I'll have no qualms about it.

2. Iron Sky
Why I Should Like It: Nazis. Everywhere. Even on the moon. Yes, you read it correctly, the film is about Nazis who went to the moon for a strategic retreat during the closing of World War the Second. Now, they are back, and I don't really care what happens much after that.

Why I Don't: Because I DO care what happens much after that. I know that they'll eventually just die due to heroics of Nazi-haters everywhere. As films have taught us over and over again, the only point of putting Nazis in a film, is to kill them all violently. :-(

3. Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides
Ok, before I go into things, I know I need to explain, why this film is on any list even remotely close to me, especially since I've expressed my utter disgust at the ending of the first film, and the entirety of the other films, in the same franchise. However, I've included it for two reasons. I hope you are understanding.

Why I Kind-of Should...umm...Like It?: The trailer, unlike the horrid The Walking Dead trailer, was pretty fascinating. I liked Jack Sparrow, much like everyone else in the world, in the first film. Then, he said, "zombies", that word alone, almost got me completely hooked, and I almost put it in the list of films that I am looking forward to. Then, I quickly came to and shoved it on this list for several reasons.

Why I Definitely Don't (Just to defend my manhood): I am extremely tired of Jack Sparrow and how he is. His behavior now seems a bit forced, it feels like Johnny Depp is tired of doing Jack Sparrow and I just don't like his personality in general. I know, this maybe working against my manhood, but whatever, I give up. I also remembered that ultimately, this was a Disney movie. And whatever attempt at zombies, that Disney is going to make, I'm pretty sure it'll end up in utter failure. Don't get me wrong, I think the zombies might look awesome, I will give the Disney design team that much credit. However, the personalities of the zombies, (yes, I just used personality again, and yes, I just ascribed personalities to zombies) will be utter rubbish. I wouldn't even be surprised if they'll be weird vegetarian zombies or something.

4. Drive Angry
Why I Should Like It: In order to understand this, you first need to grasp that I love Nicolas Cage. Don't ask me to explain I just do.

Why I Don't: As painful as it is, it just seems kind of boring.

5. The Expendables
Why I Should Like It: I am a man. And it is in the running against Eat, Pray, Love, which surprisingly I don't like, despite the word "pray" shoved in there. It also has every action star known to man in it plus some more to boot. It has china kung fu man, Jet Li. It even has a freakin wrestler in it, Stone Cold Steve Austin.

Why I Don't: They just chose the wrong man to play the villain. When I see a villain, I want to tremble in my chucks and just jump up and down clinging onto a metal bar like a monkey. I want my skin to tingle EVERY time he opens his mouth. Gary Oldman (Ivan Korshunov of Air Force One, Norman Stansfield of Leon The Professional), Alan Rickman (Hans Gruber of Die Hard), John Travolta (Castor Troy of Face Off), Nicolas Cage (Castor Troy of Face Off), Javier Bardem (Anton Chigurh or Crazy Guy of No Country For Old Men), Hugo Weaving (Mr. Smith of The Matrix), even Arnold Freakin Schwarzeneggar (The Terminator of The Terminator).
You need a man of at least this caliber to fight off against every action hero known to man. Not David Zayas (Angel Batista or incredibly adorable Cuban popo fellow of Dexter). Ugh, the casting choice they made makes me angry. I need a villain who kind of makes you question who's gonna win. Not ANGEL Bastista. HIS NAME IS ANGEL!!! THE NICEST THING I COULD POSSIBLY THINK OF! argh!!!

Well that was two sets of things that were on my mind. It went a bit longer than I thought it would but whatever.

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