My Brother Samuel

Lately, I've been getting profound thoughts whenever I play with my brother. I was thinking back to when he was a fragile baby who I almost killed in the shower (ask me in person), to when he was a slightly bigger boy who could barely talk, to now, when he can communicate pretty well. He wants to be an artist and he is the most adorable thing I've ever seen in my life. I would sacrifice my life for this child. Easily.

However, the more I see him and how cute he is, and how much he's changed so far, now he only has like 3 or 4 or so more years to go before he turns big, then a couple more until his voice gets deep, then a couple more after that until he becomes utterly uncute. I tell Samuel whenever we're together, "I will miss you Samuel." Then in his curiosity, he asks, "What do you mean? Are you going somewhere?" to which I reply, "No, I'll be here forever but you will change. You will not be you anymore." At this point, he both loses interest and stops caring about what I say anymore and goes back to his toys.

I'm wondering why I felt these things and why I said to Sam what I said. I think it was my subconscious admittance of the evanescent nature of life. Life changes. Everything changes. All good things change. For better or for worse. Now, I am aware of how depressing this post sounds. But, that's the point. For me, and a bunch of other folk who are like me, there is a far greater hope than all the good things the world can offer. Things don't change there. Good things don't end. It's pretty spiffy. :-D HOPE ON!

ZEF side!