Drought Week

So recently I have been typing down my morning prayers in poem format. I spend a bit of time writing the poem/prayers and I make sure to rhyme it and junk, and then I would "recite" it after I finish in a proper knelt down position in my feeble attempt to show the most respect I can to God. Of course the prayer time is accompanied by scripture reading time.

Now recently, I fell into a spiritual dry spell for a while. For a while, I felt too guilty or too lazy or whatever to type down my prayers and pray or even read scripture. So I stopped for a while. Every day I woke up, did "fun" things, like watch shows or play games and I something definitely felt off.

After constantly failing to pray and read scripture, I just felt like my life was not right. Something was wrong. So finally, this morning, I smarted up, and sat through a prayer session. And the surprising thing was, that I did it in pure joy. I didn't feel forced to pray or anything, I just went through it.

After I finished my prayer session, I wanted to know how many months I had gone without prayer. So I checked, and the last "entry" was August 8, 2010. Yes. It has "only" been a week. I say "only" because even a week without prayer is a lot, BUT from my expectations, it's a lot less than I thought it was.

Now, I'm trying to get my brain to stop thinking, "It's only been a week, whew, I'm pretty sure God wouldn't have noticed my absence for merely a week." And I'm trying make it think, "OH miserable wretch am I, death and misery is too good for a sinner such as I. Wilt Thou forgivest me father for sinning against Thee and neglecting Thee for an ENTIRE week?!"

I truly am relieved that it was only a week, but I shouldn't be.

But God is good who accepts me after I fall.