Why I Don't Look Forward To Weekends

I have been without a job for the longest time and it is affecting both me and my associates at my church because no job means no money. I know that every weekend my colleagues go out to eat and they fellowship and such. I go and I state that I'm not hungry, which is true. However, nobody believes me because I would still eat their leftovers because I'm bored. I eat when I'm bored and there is available food before me. People offer to buy me but I don't want to inconvenience them. I know that the people offering might not feel like they are being inconvenienced but I still don't think I should.

Why?

I will answer you.

My pagan non-Christian answer might have been because of my pride. However, that doesn't work out because my pride is still in danger when I'm eating the leftovers. So no, that isn't it.

Then what?

I'm glad you asked, I will tell you.

It is that when I first accept, you will be fine but I do not want a relationship where people around me and I are placed in an awkward situation the next time we go out. They might be thinking, "DUDE, THIS GUY NEVER HAS MONEY. I HATE HIS GUTS. MUTHU..." yadiyadiyada. At the same time, I might be thinking, "DUDE, THAT DOUBLE-DOUBLE LOOKS SO GOOD. I'm not hungry but I hope that person buys me today..." blahblahblah. And that way, one of us will always be disappointed. Either I will ask and that person will feel obliged to buy me or that person will not offer and I will be bored out of my skull and lusting after the double-double. I know that you guys are thinking, "dude, Richard, why do you lie and say you're not hungry?" Well, I'm not hungry that's why. I try not to lie and saying I'm not hungry when I'm hungry is a lie so you just have to believe me. I'm not trying to get out of being bought, I'm just not hungry. I might be bored but not hungry.

So I will stop here before this post gets any longer but money and food is basically why I don't look forward to weekends.

God is God regardless of my money problems and I should treat him as God whether I'm rich or poor.