Dream - Priscilla Ahn

An Epiphany Once Again

[on a completely unrelated note, I named my sinful alter ego The Emperor I'll explain this in the next post]

I just realized...

sometimes, I find myself desperately wanting to be hip and cool. Either by being a musician, or photographer, or artistic, or whatnot.

Then I realized just how much I don't know about God.

Nothing in the known universe, is more hip, than being a missionary for me. Nothing ever will be. And The Emperor* is going to have to live with that.

The people of this world have no say in what is hip. I think God is hip. And God gave me the calling to be a missionary. So I know that I have the coolest job that a man can have.

I think that you all can have a hip job. It's not relativism though. It's hip, only if God tells you to do it. So it all has to have that ONE common trait.

Anywho, if nobody understood this, then it's ok. But if you do, then I know that sometimes, you go through some painful thought processes of feeling inadequate. Don't worry. You are backed by the coolest Guy around. in the entire known world. For the only Guy in existence that matters, you are cool. :)

This is what brought along this revelation:

Gravity - Nico Vega

I like this song. I love the chorus.

Three Music Projects

I have three music projects that I am working on right now.

1. A worship song
2. A love song for my future wife
3. and a song I have to write with Rebekah.

Look forward to it.

Facebook Stalking

I thought that Facebook stalking was always a creepy thing.

• Invading into the private dialogue between two unsuspecting people.
• Looking at pictures of people who don't know you're looking at them.
• and a bunch of other things that aren't as creepy but still wrong.

However, a lot of people claim the title, "Facebook Stalker" with pride nowadays. I guess it's a sign that you care or something.

Man, that sucks though. I tried SO HARD not to be a facebook stalker and now, I'm used to not stalking people. However, I don't know a lot of things that are going on nowadays so...ye.

Anywho, it's really hard to try and get back into it, and I don't really want to, so I won't.

I'm not condemning facebook stalking. It's just that, if I had known that Facebook stalking wasn't as "bad" as I thought it was, then I would have stuck to it and perhaps be even more social!

Oh well. No use crying over spilt milk.

PostScript. Spilt is a REALLY weird word.

The Profound Realization Concerning God From Atheist Penn Jillette

In case you don't know who Penn of Penn and Teller is, the taller one is Penn. I think they were in some commercials and a Run DMC music video, "It's Tricky".

Any who, I heard that Penn is a devout atheist. He expresses his atheism quite boldly. He talks against proselytizing, which is a fancy word for evangelizing, and he has a television show. I want to emphasize his atheist-ness because I think it's important to get the scope of things and who exactly is saying what.

Now, after a show one day, a man came up to Penn and just complimented him and greeted him with all genuineness and love. No sense of creepy Christian-ness or anything. Then after all the greeting, he took out a small pocket-size Bible and handed it to Penn. After this event, Penn had a surprising revelation.

Even though, Penn himself dislikes proselytizing, Penn realized something that all Christians should know.

"If a man truly believes in Heaven, and if that man truly believes that anyone who doesn't believe in his God will go to hell for all eternity, then how much does he have to not love someone, to not share the gospel with him?"

These weren't the exact words but they are about right. Then he goes on to give an example.

"If I were to see you in the street and a truck was coming straight at you, but you didn't believe that the truck was coming, at one point, I'm going to HAVE to tackle you"

Man, those are good words. Again, there weren't the exact words either.

God is good. All the time. He even allowed a devout atheist have a profound effect on my life as a Christian. God is so good.

Acrostics

I was playing a game called "Brain Age 2" on my Nintendo DS, a game which tells you your brain age and how smart you are.

Then I had to come up with three acrostics. For those of you who don't know, look it up.

Here's a wiki-link: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Acrostic

Anywho, the game gave me three words and I had to come up with something that related to the initial word and this is what I wrote. Now, remember the criteria. It has to relate to the word, and I thought it had to be a phrase, not just random words. I found out I was wrong after but it made it funner and harder.

A postle's

C hristly

T heatrics

A lways

N nicely
T iny

A lmost

P ersonal

E ntity

Man, it was difficult. It took me a while to get these. I suggest you try it, it's fun but hard.

Deadman Wonderland - A Bird in the Empire Youtube

This is Deadman Wonderland. I really like this song. We recorded all of our songs in one night and by the end, I was dying. I could not play correctly so I'll Give You Oblivion suffered because I just died. I couldn't play guitar or anything by the end.

This is fun. :D

The Most Wonderful World You've Ever Seen - A Bird in the Empire Video

Yay! I posted it up finally. I'm going to post up Deadman Wonderland tomorrow. Enjoy.

PostScript. I am going to change the template of this cool blog.

Music

As I sit here working on Hebrew, missing out on Friday Night Bible Study, grieving because my friend is going away to Malayland, and hungry because the cafeteria was closed, I realize the power of music in my life. I've been neglecting it a lot lately. I forgot how music could make me feel. I was so caught up with making my own trashy songs that I forgot that there are plenty of people better than me at writing songs who have written brilliant songs for me to enjoy.

So it's me and my new friend, grooveshark, and I'm just trying to get by tonight. It's a nice feeling.

Oh Music! Forgive me, my old friend for forgetting you.

This is the song line-up.

1. 붉은노을 (Sunset Glow) - Orig. by 이문세, cover by Big Bang
2. Cum On Feel The Noize - Orig. by Slade, cover by Oasis
3. The Call - Regina Spektor
4. Swimming Pool - The Submarines
5. Dominos - The Big Pink
6. Yeah Yeah - Matt and Kim
7. My Only Offer - Mates of State
8. Last Words - The Real Tuesday Weld
9. I Wish I Knew Natalie Portman - k-Os feat. Saukrates
10. Sleepyhead - Orig. by Passion Pit, cover by Run Toto Run
11. Click, Click, Click, Click - Bishop Allen

So these are the songs keeping me company. :D

I was really feeling down because of everything that was happening but now I feel a lot better.

PostScript. I really want to listen to GOOD music made by my friends. I think they have more meaning to me. AHEM! I'm trying to imply something to two different people right now. coughD.MONEYcoughMICHELLEPARKcough. Make songs that I would be proud of and send them to me! :D

PostPostScript. D.Money! I'll wait forever for "I Wish I Knew Richard Chung" - D.Money. But don't make me wait so long. :D

The Execrable Act of Gossip

I'm going to talk about something that I hate with deep passion: Gossip.

This is pretty big among the girls and it happens all the time. I heard. Which sucks.

I hate it because you are destroying someone's reputation and having fun while doing so. You even drag people who aren't involved in anyway and just fill their heads with bad thoughts about the person.

I heard something interesting from a girl. She said, "when a bunch of girls gossip, they want you to get into it as well. If you are on the side just trying not to get involved, they'll stare at you with hateful eyes. They'll look at you as if you were judging them." These are not exact words but it's what I got out of her explanation. This infuriates me.

I think if there is someone who is not joining in the gossip, then this proves that they are pretty ashamed of what they are doing. And if they are not, then they at least know that it is wrong. So if a girl, (and I pray that this doesn't happen but sadly, I know it does. why do men gossip? WHY?!) or a boy, is caught gossiping, then I think that they should feel the same amount of shame as if they were caught watching pornography.

But when you catch a man watching porn, they won't glare at you with eyes that say, "don't judge me". I promise you, most men would probably look down in shame after the shock of getting caught has passed.

Now, I don't judge people who murder their families. I don't judge people who rape little girls. I don't judge people who overdose on cocaine or heroin. But I have to say, that my sinful self, does judge those Christians out there who gossip about people who they don't like. I judge them hard. I'm not even joking. I am fully aware that it is not my place to judge anyone, regardless of their belief, but I do judge. Sad to say.

All this to say, stop gossiping immediately. My respect for anyone who gossips tend to decline extremely quickly. I pray you would stop.

If the reader is pagan and thinks I'm an utter douche-bag who needs to get off his high horse, sorry. But I don't share the same worldview as you do. I only judge Christians who do retardedly stupid things, like gossiping. Non-christians who gossip? I just chalk it up to their ignorance.

Ugh. Pisses me off.

God loves me. Unconditionally. Even when I'm stupid and judgmental.

PostScript. Don't effing gossip.

PostPostScript. Now that I'm starting school. I have a lot of things to say. :D

PostPostPostScript. Don't effing gossip.

PostPostPostPostScript. I just realized that this isn't even a rebuke. I have no love in this post. Just utter hatred. This is more of a rant. I apologize for that. I love you. I just don't love gossip. But I pray that gossiping ceases to exist and thank you for reading through. If you did. :D

Three Things That Brighten My Day No Matter The Circumstances

1. This video of Shane and Shane playing The Answer live. HAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. (if you're wondering, just ask Simon, he knows why. Actually, a bunch of other Biola people know why too. Leah, Linko de Mayo, Ju?, etc.)

2. This SONG, not the video, I couldn't care less about the video, I don't even think I watched the video through. Only the the first 1:53 of it is worth anything. But the song makes me laugh. HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA. (I think only D.Money and Rai Chuzz [Righteous] know why this is funny. If I explain it, I might just kill it for myself so don't ask me. HAHAHAHHAHAA. SO FUNNY THOUGH!)

3. Whenever D.Money randomly says, "butt." HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA. (I'm gonna be so sad when he leaves Biola. IF he leaves, I still have hope.)

A.D. - Animated Zombies!

:D This is cool. :D

My Morning Devotional Quiet Times Of Doom/Epiphanies

This morning, I read a passage in 1 Kings that disturbed me and just bothered me a lot. The passage is 1 Kings 13:1-25. Let me provide a little context.

Basically, Israel had/has recently been split because Solomon was a bad boy and the new king, Jeroboam made two golden calves for the people to worship because he feared that if the people went back to worshiping the God of Israel, then the people would no longer want Jeroboam as king.

The Man of God From Judah

¹ By the word of the LORD a man of God came from Judah to Bethel, as Jeroboam was standing by the altar to make an offering. ² He cried out against the altar by the word of the LORD : "O altar, altar! This is what the LORD says: 'A son named Josiah will be born to the house of David. On you he will sacrifice the priests of the high places who now make offerings here, and human bones will be burned on you.' " ³ That same day the man of God gave a sign: "This is the sign the LORD has declared: The altar will be split apart and the ashes on it will be poured out."

⁴ When King Jeroboam heard what the man of God cried out against the altar at Bethel, he stretched out his hand from the altar and said, "Seize him!" But the hand he stretched out toward the man shriveled up, so that he could not pull it back. ⁵ Also, the altar was split apart and its ashes poured out according to the sign given by the man of God by the word of the LORD.

⁶ Then the king said to the man of God, "Intercede with the LORD your God and pray for me that my hand may be restored." So the man of God interceded with the LORD, and the king's hand was restored and became as it was before.

⁷ The king said to the man of God, "Come home with me and have something to eat, and I will give you a gift."

⁸ But the man of God answered the king, "Even if you were to give me half your possessions, I would not go with you, nor would I eat bread or drink water here. ⁹ For I was commanded by the word of the LORD : 'You must not eat bread or drink water or return by the way you came.' " ¹⁰ So he took another road and did not return by the way he had come to Bethel.

¹¹ Now there was a certain old prophet living in Bethel, whose sons came and told him all that the man of God had done there that day. They also told their father what he had said to the king. ¹² Their father asked them, "Which way did he go?" And his sons showed him which road the man of God from Judah had taken. ¹³ So he said to his sons, "Saddle the donkey for me." And when they had saddled the donkey for him, he mounted it ¹⁴ and rode after the man of God. He found him sitting under an oak tree and asked, "Are you the man of God who came from Judah?"
"I am," he replied.

¹⁵ So the prophet said to him, "Come home with me and eat."

¹⁶ The man of God said, "I cannot turn back and go with you, nor can I eat bread or drink water with you in this place.¹⁷ I have been told by the word of the LORD : 'You must not eat bread or drink water there or return by the way you came.' "

¹⁸ The old prophet answered, "I too am a prophet, as you are. And an angel said to me by the word of the LORD : 'Bring him back with you to your house so that he may eat bread and drink water.' " (But he was lying to him.) ¹⁹ So the man of God returned with him and ate and drank in his house.

²⁰ While they were sitting at the table, the word of the LORD came to the old prophet who had brought him back. ²¹He cried out to the man of God who had come from Judah, "This is what the LORD says: 'You have defied the word of the LORD and have not kept the command the LORD your God gave you. ²² You came back and ate bread and drank water in the place where he told you not to eat or drink. Therefore your body will not be buried in the tomb of your fathers.' "

²³ When the man of God had finished eating and drinking, the prophet who had brought him back saddled his donkey for him. ²⁴ As he went on his way, a lion met him on the road and killed him, and his body was thrown down on the road, with both the donkey and the lion standing beside it. ²⁵ Some people who passed by saw the body thrown down there, with the lion standing beside the body, and they went and reported it in the city where the old prophet lived.

1 Kings 13:1-25

This passage was pretty disturbing because the prophet didn't even do anything. He just trusted the word of a "fellow" prophet who lied to him which ultimately lead to his violent death by lion. I don't know if the prophet secretly knew that the lying prophet was lying and just went along with it anyways which would make a little sense but either way, I'm really sad that the prophet lied to him and caused him to get mauled by a deadly feline.

This has been a recurring theme in my life recently. The idea of whether our helping is actually hurting. This is what I made up in my mind in order to give me some peace about this passage. If you like it, take it.

My Guess At What Happened:

I think that the Prophet that was going home looked and probably felt extremely tired. The idea of rest was extremely attractive to him and he was in a mental state where temptations would flourish due to his completely depraved state of being. And in that state of being, a "fellow" prophet offered him help.

What the lying prophet saw was a pitiful and extremely tired man of God. He felt extremely sorry for him and he wanted to offer him help. From the bottom of his heart, he didn't want to deceive him, he just wanted to relieve him if only for a night. And seeing the traveling prophet's resolve not to rest even though he was so exhausted, the lying prophet decided to just trick him for his own good, not realizing that in doing so, he would have caused the traveling prophet to go directly against the word of their Boss.

At first, the traveling prophet resisted because he knew of the amazing power of God against His enemies. I mean, he JUST saw God shrivel up the hand of a king who tried to go against him. So while that was fresh on his mind, he tried to resist the temptations of the lying prophet. BUT, the lying prophet lied and told the traveling prophet that God himself told him to offer help to the traveling prophet. I think, in the deepest corner of his heart, the traveling prophet knew that the lying prophet was lying. But, he decided to take the offer because he guessed that, "if the lying prophet is lying, then the guilt would be on his head for tempting me and not on my head."

So the traveling prophet fell into temptation and God, being all-knowing, instantly knew the heart of the traveling prophet and punished him accordingly.

I think the lying prophet was one who had a foolish but good heart in the sight of the Lord because God didn't kill him. I guess he might have felt guilty. I don't fully know the cultural context but the lying prophet wanted to be buried next to the traveling prophet so...I don't know.

Anywho, this is what I got.

God is good. All the time. Even when prophets die because other prophets lie to them.