It annoys me, because my siblings, excluding Samuel, think that I'm a fundamentalist nobody loser. While I am a fundamentalist, a nobody, and a loser, this is no way for a younger sibling to think of their older brother. My pride is wounded and since I can't change this no matter what, I hope that I can at least grow some humility from it. I always wanted intelligence but now I feel like intelligence is useless. It only helps me be sadder and more humble.
I have a lot of negative relationships with women in my life. Well, close relationships at least. I'm guessing it's spawning from my relationships with my sister. But that's no excuse. I guess I'm not too great either. I just hope that my relationship with my wife would be a healthy one.
I just want to be holier. I think the high is coming down. Now it's time for my depression drought.
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