Homesickness

Last night, I felt the first real feeling of homesickness in a long time. It was weird because I wasn't worried about being away from home but I was worried about being anywhere. I was thinking of my future when I become a missionary and how homesick I might feel about that and how I was in the dorm and I might be homesick because of that. But the thing was, when I thought about home, I was not comforted at all. I was thinking that even if I went home, that I would feel homesick.

I think that was God's sincere gift to me to help me realize that this world does not contain my real home. I realized that compared to my home in heaven, my "actual" home here had nothing on it.

I think this feeling of homesick came as a result of two things.

1. I really didn't feel like talking to anybody, and the people I might have wanted to talk to, something happened where they wouldn't talk to me or whatever. Some things happened.
2. And I realized that I "forgot" to fill out my FAFSA by the deadline so I might not attend BIOLA for the next semester. This would mean that I have to get a job. Or I could go on a long term mission.
   

The thought of going home was one of the worst feelings I could have. My feeling of homesickness came to me more and more as I though about having to go home.

The thought of going on missions was hard because I felt like I would get homesick because of the culture shock and whatnot.

It was hard.

I woke up at 3:30 and as I lay there trying to get back to sleep, all these thoughts came stampeding on me. I lay there for ten minutes and I realized that maybe, God was telling me to go rely on him. Right when I realized that "wait, if I die, God is still there" I felt this overwhelming sense of calm.

I know you guys are wondering, "wait, what does being homesick, and God being there after you die have anything to do with each other."

I say, "dood, chill, I'll tell you."

It helped me because if something as "hopeless" in the eyes of unbelievers as death, is followed by being with God forever, then the small hopelessnesses such as homesickness and stress, can completely be backed up by God. So no matter what happens, I shouldn't stress so much about things that are backed by God.

Anywho, so after I came to this realization, I got up, and decided to read the bible. So I got up, read about Lot and Abraham and angels and I felt the restlessness go away quickly. After a couple chapters, I got up and went back to bed because I was tired again. Tired and not restless.

This is my blog post on what happened to me last night before my Biology exam, which I believe I passed with an A but not sure. I didn't tell anybody this yet, so if anyone asks, you heard it from here.

This is Richard's Blog and have a nice day Global Community of the Worldly Earth.